While conflict with your spouse or significant other is difficult, it may also provide an opportunity to see both sides of the issue and move towards a healthy compromise. However, if you don’t feel understood, if stubbornness digs in or the conflict doesn’t resolve, perhaps there’s a bigger issue going on. Exploring the barriers to communication and compromise can help put the marriage back on track. And seeing a trained professional can help the process along much more effectively.

Temporarily moving away from your spouse can provide some distance and relief, but now what? You may have more time to work, be with friends or do your hobbies. But there’s also more time for thinking about the relationship and where it is going. Using this time to sort it out and decide about the next steps in your life is important. Talking about your options with an objective person really helps.

Getting through a divorce has been compared to grieving the death of a loved one. The stress of a divorce is overwhelming. With over 60% of divorces initiated by women, lots of men find themselves alone and wondering what happened to their life. Less money and less time with your kids are among the most stressful results of a divorce. 

Under the surface feelings of inadequacy and questions of lovability may persist. Self blame leads to guilt and shame. Individual counseling will help move you along faster to recovery than medicating your feelings with alcohol, sex, sports TV and work.

Once your divorce has been finalized and you’re ready to move forward, conflict with your ex can bring you crashing back into emotional tension and unresolved issues. This conflict can be painful for so many reasons. Ongoing conflict over money, kids, etc. takes a great emotional toll on you, and can really injure your children as well. 

Having a sounding board and feedback about how to cope can help tremendously.

The number one reason second marriages don’t work out is conflict about children. Creating a new family from two divorced families with different values, histories and traditions is challenging. Loyalties can be questioned which can drive a wedge into your new relationship. 

Who do you side with; your new wife or your kids? The triangle between you, your children and your new wife may lead to resentments and a psychological wall. It’s time to resolve the problems before it boils over. You don’t want to endure another divorce.